A Physical Update
This blog post is the first of two: Part One - Physical
Part two - Emotional, will follow on.
I've been up to stuff, you know? … Things, but recently I've also been around the block in my head, emotionally, so I thought, as it's the start of the year, although fuck me, if it isn't February already! I’d write it up … or is it down? Whichever, both.
First thing, after nearly seven years in my rental house, I moved. Finally back on the housing ladder. Settling in well. It's a new build, so there were plenty of snags, squeaky floors, scratched windows, and loose paving stones, to name a few. All sorted with very little hassle, so not much to complain about. I now, for the first time in my life, own three toilets; never have I existed around so much loo roll. Up until then, I was only dwarfed by my guitar collection.
The kids now have their “own bathroom” (not my words), although ownership seems to stop way short of cleaning it. The only bugbear for me is I'm currently without a dishwasher, and I didn't realise just how much crockery I had until it was piled up waiting to be washed by the sink!
Speaking of the Kids, Last year my youngest broke his arm quite severely during a school football match. He was incredibly brave, a proper superhero! He was patched up and sent home. A few days later, after attending a follow-up appointment, we were told he’d actually need to have his arm operated on! After a stressful day in the hospital, 2 rods and screws later, he’s fixed. He still has parts of his hand that are numb, but fixed on the whole.
The middle one has passed her driving test and found herself a job; she couldn’t wait to be a car owning, tax paying, part of society. I, of course, tried to warn her that it’s a trap! But listen, she would not. And to be fair, im not sure I would have either.
Those who are my blog or book readers, or even Who's Wally podcast listeners (if you can remember that?), will be aware of Em, due to my inability to deal with relationships (I'll get back to this in part two), at the beginning of 2024, we separated. Well, after some time apart and many conversations later, I'm thrilled to say we are back and stronger than ever. I've always been in awe of just how much Em understood my crazy mind. After all, she was the driving force behind me beginning this adoption journey, and after everything that went before, and to coin a phrase from Jack Johnson, we are “better together”.
In September last year (2025), after an almost chance encounter in my new, local book shop and just a few days short of its two-year anniversary of publication, I finally had a proper ‘Who's Wally?’ Book launch. Getting to read chapters of the book out loud to a group for the first time was both enjoyable and daunting. Read more about it here.
During the lead-up to the launch, I'd managed to get myself a guest spot on Hive FM to do a bit of promotion. Hive FM is a local charity-run radio station by The BHive, here in Grantham. While I was there, I had an idea….
Wouldn't it be great to find adoptees like me near me? So, a group, a peer support group. A place and time for adoptees to get together to just talk with those who get it… is there a group already? Well, there is, further away and all over the world, but some are huge conferences or yearly meets for many, but nothing local, and nothing low-key.
So, with this buzzing around in my head, I spoke with the BHive (see what I did there?). Would they be able to help me get an adoptee support group started, as I had no idea how!
They thought it was a great idea too, so a time slot was agreed upon, and The Grantham Unkept Club was born.
Being adopted or fostered(‘Unkept) can make life difficult. We feel out of place, misunderstood, and often unheard. We, as adoptees or fostered people, often have very small social circles, so finding solidarity and support is often difficult.
Well, not anymore!
Come to the Bhive Communuity Hub, on Finkin Street, Grantham, and be heard, be seen, feel understood. By doing so, you will be supporting your own mental health, and you might even be able to support someone else. Find out more here
Moving on …
After playing guitar for 26 years and recording myself on my phone, Em and I have finally started to record a bit more seriously.
As a writer, I've occasionally dabbled in poetry, and I often wondered if I could write music. So, in my usual ‘just give it a go, how hard can this shit be?’ way, we are doing just that.
Of course I’ve taking hold of it just as I do with every project I dream up, and it has become everything! I eat, think, sleep, music at the moment, often forgetting to eat or communicate, but I’m loving it. The whole process fascinates me, writing the lyrics, messing around for days finding melody and chords, then the recording, designing the artwork, releasing the tracks to Spotify, Amazon, and Apple Music. It's all very seductive.
I’ve even turned my downstairs toilet into a studio booth (The Loodio, if you will).
As I write this, A+E’ (that's Em and Me) have 2 tracks released, one to be released on Friday, 20th Feb, one more almost ready, as well as a shed load of ideas.
The plan is to create an album by the end of the year, through our own record label ‘Who’s Wally Music’ (obviously!) and for no other reason than ‘why not?’
Check it out for yourself here
Ah, there is one other thing, last year I signed up to do a charity stand-up gig, I was going to do it in aid of Mind, the mental health charity. In the end, though, I was taken off the list as I wouldn't be able to make enough of the training sessions due to work. So, that's that. Sorry.
I am both disappointed and relieved, haha!
OOH, one more thing, actually.
I’ve owned my car since 2022, and up until the end of last month, it has been leaking antifreeze/engine coolant for all that time. At one point, it felt like I was pouring in more water than petrol! Well, I’m happy to tell you that I've sorted it, and the nappies are finally off! Little wins.
